The Old Woman

[Little Stinky Britches]

Grandma Tattle-Tale

You can't remember her name,
the old woman who changed your pants.

Your Mother called her, "Grandma Tattle-Tale",
because she always told her about your poopy diapers.

You always dirtied your diapers at her house.
The old woman called it, "filling your britches."
She always smelled poop when you came for a visit.

"Beulah, I smell something over here.
I think Marty just filled his britches. I smell him.
It might be gas, but I think he pooped his pants."

Your Mother smiled at the old woman.
She was a dear family friend who loved babies.
Her house was full of playpens, cribs and baby toys.
A diaper pail and a changing table sat near the window.

"Shooo-wee Marty! You stink! Did you poop your britches?
Goodness gracious. Somebody sure does stink! Shoooo-wee!
Somebody just pooped their britches. Shoooo! I smell it."

Your Mother blushed as the old woman sniffed the air.
It smelled like a stockyard in your pants as you played.
The old woman fanned her face to shoo-away the smell.

"Uh, oh, I think Marty pooped his britches. Shooo-wee Marty!
It smells like you need your pants changed. Somebody stinks!
Goodness gracious. Shoooo-wee! I know what Marty just did.
Yeah, I think Marty just pooped his britches. Shoooo-wee!"

You remember the old woman lifting you out of the walker.
She held you close as you felt a tug at the back of your pants.
The old woman was pulling open the back your diaper,
so she could look down into the seat of your britches.

The fullness of your pants pleased the old woman,
as she talked to your Mother about your poopy diaper.

"Yep, I thought I smelled something! Shoooo-wee Marty!
Goodness gracious! No wonder I smell something. Shooooo!
Yeah, Marty pooped his britches. Shooo! Somebody stinks!"

The old woman made a funny face as she checked your britches.
She blushed and giggled, because your pants smelled like poop.
But she was so pleased with the odor and fullness of your pants.
The old woman praised you for doing such a big job for her.

"Marty just pooped his britches." She cooed.

The old woman laid you on the floor, and lifted up your bottom.
A changing pad was underneath you as she hummed to herself.
The old woman needed your diaper bag, she said to her friend.

"Marty pooped his britches." She told everyone in the room.

The words rolled off her lips, "Marty POOPED his britches."

"I thought I smelled something when he toddled by me.
Sometimes its just gas that I'm smelling, cause he toots a lot.
But then he usually poops his britches right after a bottle,
so I always check his pants when I smell something."

You remember the old woman unsnapping your baby pants.
Her soft wrinkled hands gently undressed you as you jabbered.
The old woman playfully fanned her face as she smiled at you.

"Shooo-wee! Somebody stinks! Goodness gracious! Shoooo!
Oh Marty! You sure did poop your britches full this morning!
Yeah, I thought I smelled something when you toddled by me.
Goodness you stink! Shooo-wee Marty! You got stinky britches."

There was a pungent odor of poop wafting up from your bottom.
She kept fanning her face and talking about the smell.

"Marty pooped his britches." She told everyone in the room.

"Goodness he stinks! Shoooo-wee! I knew I smelled something.
I just changed his pants a few minutes ago. Goodness gracious.
As soon as you change his britches, he poops them again.
Shoooo-wee he stinks! Phew! Marty pooped his britches."

She playfully fanned her face as she opened your dirty diaper.
The old woman was smiling at you as she changed your pants.

"Shooo-wee! Marty pooped his britches." She kept saying.

She used the front of the diaper to wipe most of the poop off,
while her soft wrinkled hand firmly held you by the ankles.
Someone handed her a wet washcloth for your poopy bottom,
and she smiled as she began wiping you.

The old woman kept saying, "Shoooo-wee!" as she wiped you.

"Oh Marty! You sure did poop your britches. Shoooo-wee!
Yeah, I knew I smelled something when you toddled by me.
Goodness gracious Marty! Oh shoooo-wee! Oh you stink!
Somebody's got a poopy bottom. I knew I smelled something."

Her soft wrinkled hand gently and lovingly wiped your bottom.
The old woman paid special attention to your poopy butt-hole.
With your bottom up in the air and your butt-crack wide open,
she gently wiped your butt-hole, saying, "Shooo-wee Marty."

"Somebody's got a poopy bottom. Oh shooo-weee-shoooo!
Goodness Marty, you stink! Somebody messed their britches."

You felt so helpless as the old woman wiped your bottom.
Every morning you messed your pants in the baby walker.
The old woman always expected a dirty diaper in the morning.
She said you always, "pooped your britches" after a bottle.

When the powdering began, you were cooing and jabbering.
The old woman spread your chubby butt-cheeks and smiled.
A cloud of baby powder wafted up as she powdered you.

"Goodness gracious. Baby Marty's getting his bottom powdered.
Yeah, babies like their pretty bottoms powdered. Yes they do.
When the pants are awful stinky, it's time to powder the baby."

You remember her friends watching as she changed your pants.
They kept smiling and giggling as she wiped and powdered you.

"Marty pooped his britches." She kept saying, as she smiled.

After the old woman had powdered and diapered you.
She put you back in your walker smelling like baby powder.
The smell of poop lingered in the air as you toddled around.

"Marty pooped his britches." She told her friend, who walked in.

The old woman was always talking about your poopy diapers.
Whenever a visitor noticed the odor of poop lingering in the air,
she would always say, "Marty pooped his britches."

"I kept smelling something." She told her friend.

"At first I thought it was gas. He's been so gassy this morning.
But then I kept smelling something so I went to check his pants.
Sure enough, as soon as I lifted him up out of that baby walker,
I got a whiff of his britches, and I knew he pooped his pants."

The old woman and her friend giggled about your poopy diaper.

She apologized for the smell of poop that lingered in the room.
But there was no need to apologize for the odor her friend said.
It was natural for a baby to dirty his pants in the living room.
The old woman's house often smelled like poop in those days.

There was an old woman, who changed your pants.....

THE END

[Little Stinky Britches]

After many, many re-writes and revisions this story is finally finished. It is some what different then my other stories, in the sense that it is a story told in a "second person account" (I got the idea from Mommy Maggie) and it's different because there is less "baby-talk" and more descriptive.

By the way, I'm sorry that I don't write more but my time is limited so I do what I can. Hope you like it.