August 18, 2009

Nite Nite

Winkin’, Blinkin’, and Nod, one night sailed off in a wooden shoe; Sailed off on a river of crystal light into a sea of dew. “Where are you going and what do you wish?” the old moon asked the three. “We’ve come to fish for the herring fish that live in this beautiful sea. Nets of silver and gold have we,” said Winkin’, Blinkin’, and Nod. The old moon laughed and sang a song as they rocked in the wooden shoe. And the wind that sped them all night long ruffled the waves of dew. Now the little stars are the herring fish that live in that beautiful sea; “Cast your nets wherever you wish never afraid are we!” So cried the stars to the fishermen three – Winkin’, and Blinkin’, and Nod. So all night long their nets they threw to the stars in the twinkling foam. ‘Til down from the skies came the wooden shoe bringing the fisherman home. ‘Twas all so pretty a sail it seemed as if it could not be. Some folks say ’twas a dream they dreamed of sailing that misty sea. But I shall name you the fisherman three – Winkin’, Blinkin’, and Nod. Now Winkin’ and Blinkin’ are two little eyes and Nod is a little head. And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies is a wee one’s trundle bed. So close your eyes while mother sings of the wonderful sights that be. And you shall see those beautiful things as you sail on the misty sea, Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three – Winkin’, Blinkin’, and Nod. Huggles and Snuggles, Cali 1-888-430-2010
March 15, 2009

I have a new job!

Actually, I don’t, but one of my friends sent me this picture and asked if I made it.  I guess my smartassiness proceeds me.  But that’s why you ADORE me, and if you do not ADORE me then, pfftttt.  I would say something else but this a rated pg blog and I’m not allowed to say such words. Stacie 1-888-430-2010
February 6, 2009

Something Wicked This Way Comes

The weekend is upon us, and I know I will be busy taking care of some naughty little ones on the phone. You know who you are. Sometimes the loving and nurturing way does not work. Mommies sometimes need to get mean, now don’t get me wrong, it’s done with love, all those spankings and corner time, or being tied up for ones own good. Yes, done with love *chuckle*. Have a wonderfully wicked weekend. Mommy Maggie 1-888-430-2010 madisonsmaggy@yahoo.com
December 19, 2008

I think Santa Claus is a woman

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe hes a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men dont even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Its as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they – with amazing calm – call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me its an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th-hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, Im convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh, amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzens rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa did have reindeer, hed still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost in the snow and clouds, and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle. Other reasons why Santa cant possibly be a man: – Men cant pack a bag. – Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. – Men would feel their masculinity is threatened, having to be seen with all those elves. – Men dont answer their mail. – Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a “bowlful of jelly.” – Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men. Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. Josie 1 888 430 2010
December 19, 2008

I think Santa Claus is a woman

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe hes a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men dont even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Its as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they – with amazing calm – call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me its an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th-hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, Im convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh, amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzens rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa did have reindeer, hed still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost in the snow and clouds, and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle. Other reasons why Santa cant possibly be a man: – Men cant pack a bag. – Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. – Men would feel their masculinity is threatened, having to be seen with all those elves. – Men dont answer their mail. – Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a “bowlful of jelly.” – Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men. Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. Josie 1 888 430 2010
November 24, 2008

Remember Those Who Serve Our Country

This time of year is for family and friends. We all get together to celebrate that which we are blessed to have. But there are some who will not be with their families this year, they are the Men and Women who are serving abroad in the Military. Keep those who go where they must in your prayers this Thanksgiving, and also remember to be thankful for them. They help make this country great, and although hardships come and go, it is because of them that we are able to have the freedoms we have. Candy 1-888-430-2010