April 22, 2009

No Humping Allowed…

LOL! A friend sent me this and I couldn’t help but laugh!  No humping allowed, huh?  Well I was never one to do as I was told, anyway.  Sometimes I just can’t help myself.  Watching you while you do your chores outside, be it mowing the lawn or cleaning the pool, with only a pair of jeans on.  That young, lean body of yours just glistening in the sun from all that sweet, sweet sweat – now what’s a mother to do?  Except wait for you in the shed and show you exactly how to use that wondrous tool of yours! Mommy Gina 1-888-430-2010
April 22, 2009

No Humping Allowed…

LOL! A friend sent me this and I couldn’t help but laugh!  No humping allowed, huh?  Well I was never one to do as I was told, anyway.  Sometimes I just can’t help myself.  Watching you while you do your chores outside, be it mowing the lawn or cleaning the pool, with only a pair of jeans on.  That young, lean body of yours just glistening in the sun from all that sweet, sweet sweat – now what’s a mother to do?  Except wait for you in the shed and show you exactly how to use that wondrous tool of yours! Mommy Gina 1-888-430-2010
February 9, 2009

Ultimate Cell Phone

I am currently looking to replace the cell phone I have, so I have been doing a lot of internet browsing. In my browsing I came across this item: It’s beautiful isn’t it? It’s the Vertu Cobra. This phone features the following: from one pear-cut diamond, one round white diamond, two emerald eyes and 439 rubies. Nice huh? The price tag for this? Only a mere $310,000. I think I will continue my search lol. Love you all, Mommy Candy 1-888-430-2010
February 9, 2009

Ultimate Cell Phone

I am currently looking to replace the cell phone I have, so I have been doing a lot of internet browsing. In my browsing I came across this item: It’s beautiful isn’t it? It’s the Vertu Cobra. This phone features the following: from one pear-cut diamond, one round white diamond, two emerald eyes and 439 rubies. Nice huh? The price tag for this? Only a mere $310,000. I think I will continue my search lol. Love you all, Mommy Candy 1-888-430-2010
October 14, 2008

What We Believed as Children

Some of us were told things by parents, grandparents or siblings to either scare us, or get us to stop doing something. Here are a few things some parents, siblings and friends told their sons, daughters and friends. I found most of these quite funny. 1. My dad was magic! When we would drive on the freeway in the rain, if he concentrated really hard he could stop the rain, but then one of us kids would mess up his concentration and it would begin again. I only realized many years later that we were driving under overpasses! 2. This belief is now something of a family tradition. My mother, who was never the greatest of chefs, told me (and all my siblings) when i was small that if i didn’t eat all my supper, “the children who eat poo” would come & get me. The children who eat poo are a bunch of naughty children who also wouldent eat thier supper & now live on the streets with nothing to eat but poo! They were like a gang of poo eating street punks. as my mother was a self employed courier sometimes when i was in the car with her she would point to dumpsters & say thats where the children who eat poo live. needless to say, washing the dishes in our house was never a big chore…we practically licked them clean. 3. I used to believe that my older cousin always carried these green pink & white candies in her purse & i used to sneek in there & eat a couple of them come to find out years later that they were birth control pills. 4. I used to believe that the ridges on the roof of my mouth spelled out “MADE IN JAPAN” just like the words on the bottom of my doll’s foot. 5. I used to believe that one foot was better than the other. The sheets on my bed were always messed up in the morning because my feet had been fighting during the night trying to prove that one was better than the other. 6. My sister told me that, unless I did a song and a dance after I had a poo the Toilet Monster would come and get me… the song went “Ugga Bugga Ugga Bugga Ugga Bugga Ug, Toilet Monster please don’t come” bitch. 7. When I was in Primary school, our teacher used to explain some things by starting a sentence with “When I was a little boy…” Damn you Mrs Hudson, I thought that when I grew up I’d turn into a woman!!!!!! 8. When I was a nipper my older sister, by seven years, used to tell me that sometimes the Tooth Fairy got drunk and took an eye by mistake. Gave me nightmares for months. 9. I once told my mother when I was 4 years old that I was going to marry my 4 year old ‘boyfriend’, Mikey and that our children would […]