Do you believe in God?

[Little Stinky Britches]

It is my hope that no one finds offense in this post, because what I am trying to do is resolve a conflict within myself that has been years in the making.

Do I believe in God? Well..... yes.... and no.

For many years I was strong believer in God and the Bible as his Word. I was for the most part, raised in a Southern Baptist Church, which is why many of my baby/poopy diaper fantasies take place in a Church Nursery. I spent a lot of time in Church Nurseries as a little boy.

Later, when I was 19, I got really serious about God and was baptistized in the Church of Christ. I was a radical for Jesus, and never questioned the truth of the Bible. Then, in 1984, while I was attending a Preaching school to be trained as a Preacher/Minister my younger brother was killed in a car accident. That loss, started me down the road of agnostism. Later, in 1993, when I enrolled in Ohio University as a history major, I had already stopped attending church, and the ideas and thoughts I was exposed to in a University setting, just made my disbelief complete: I became an Atheist.

But there is a problem with my Atheisim: I still WANT to believe. I WANT to cling to Jesus, to cling to my "faith" (or whatever is left of it) and I WANT to go to church like I used to every Sunday.

I stand at a fork in the road:
The road to the left is one of disbelief: No God, No life after death, No resurrection, just nothingness. In short, No Hope.

The road to the right is one of faith, belief: There IS a God, He looks after us, there IS life after death, God IS Love. In short, there IS Hope.

So this is where I stand: Hope vs No Hope.

Objectively, there is no evidence that there is a God, or that Jesus is his son, or that the Bible is true. No evidence what so ever.

But can I really live with that? To live with No Hope? Or more to the point: at the age of 53, can I really die with no hope? I have lived more then half my life, and when you reach 53, you start hearing the "click-clock" of the hands of time, and with each passing year, that sounds grows louder, making you aware that your time is running out.

Back in Dec. (12/15/11) Christopher Hitchens, the well-known Atheist writer died of esophageal cancer, he was 62. I was a big fan of Hitchens and his work and his convictions: he died as he had lived, as an Atheist to the end. Just days before he died, Hitchens was asked on camera if he was now ready to convert, and become a believer. Hitchens scoffed at the idea, and remained an Atheist, passing away in disbelief. But he died with no hope, no hope of life after death, no hope of seeing his loved ones in heaven, no hope of seeing God.

Frankly, I don't think I can do that. I can't live without hope.
So I WILL believe, dispite the fact that there is no evidence. Because in the end, what is life without hope?

What are your thoughts, my dear friends?

[phoneamommysbabycam]

Thanks so much for sharing a lot about yourself and yes, in this day in age, it can be hard to share your faith or ask others if they believe in God. I, for one, believe wholeheartedly in a loving and forgiving God who sent His son to die on the cross for all of our sins.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother in a car accident and I can not even believe how I would feel if that happened to me. I just believe that with anything it takes faith and for me, I have a faith in God and because of what Jesus did on the cross, I now have a relationship with God that I can talk to Him and know that He listens to me.
Sure, there are times when I doubt it and wonder if He really listens to me but then at those times I just look back at all the times God answered a prayer for me and it reassures my faith.
I will be praying for you and just want to let you know that you are not alone in how you feel. As the Bible says and reminds me daily that Jesus says that He will never leave you nor forsake you and as John 3:16 says For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."
Be encouraged and know today that there is a God who loves you more than you can ever imagine.
Thanks for taking the time again to be so vulnerable and sharing this with us and my prayers will be with you.

[Little Stinky Britches]

Thank you so much Cam.

You are a much loved member of our diaper community, and a Brother In Christ.

Your reply to my post really made my day!

Thank you, and may God bless your life.

Amen.

[DommyMommyAva]

I believe in God and have had an internal dialogue with him since I was 5. I would miss not talking to him so I believe.

[Jenna]

Yes I believe....