I have only a few vague memories of being diapered when I was little, and no memories at all of my potty training experience. But when I was about 4, things happened.
First, I discovered it felt good down there when I rubbed against the bed... and it made me think of peeing, and having a diaper on. Maybe I was potty-trained before I was really ready, or maybe it wasn't a pleasant experience. But I've pretty much always associated diapers with phallic pleasure.
Since both my parents worked, I spent a lot of my early childhood at my 60-something nanny's house. "Nana" is the one I mainly remember diapering me, and I remember neither loving nor hating it. Once I was potty-trained, her grandson was born. I must have watched her diaper him a hundred times, and I always laughed when she said things like "Whew, what a load!" Even though I felt cool, like I was the big boy who didn't do that anymore, I was still fascinated.
One day I found some of my old diapers in my bedroom closet that hadn't gotten thrown out, and decided to experiment and wear them. My mother was appalled when she found out, and my father gave me a talking to that night. All I remember him saying was that I'd been pretending I was a little baby, like Nana's grandson. The gist of it though was that I was not to do it again. I felt so ashamed. Like I'd done something really wrong.
And then one evening at Nana's house, her strict & stern husband "Papa" and I took a little walk up & down the driveway, having a conversation. I waited a little too long to go to the bathroom and had an accident in my pants. Man oh man, he chewed me out, called me a "naughty boy" when we went inside and he & Nana cleaned and changed me. I remember feeling like I was back in a familiar place - being changed - that was no longer safe or OK for me to be in. I didn't have a diaper on. I wasn't supposed to be in this position. I was supposed to be a big boy.
I don't remember being very accident prone at that age, but it must have happened a few times. Because at the end of the summer before I made the leap from preschool to kindergarten, my mother cautioned me... "They will NOT change you; they will send you HOME!" So I spent most of my childhood living in absolute terror of having an accident.
When I got a little older, I had a brief phase where I would get so caught up in whatever I was playing in the back yard that I'd wait till the last second to go the bathroom and make a mad dash for the house. After not making it a few times, my mother totally chewed me out, and she said "You act like you need diapers!" That hit a nerve, because diapers were my secret phallic pleasure that I was so ashamed of. I SCREAMED at her, "I DON'T!" She said "I know you don't; I said you ACT like you do."
My sister was born when I was 7, and for a time I was able to vent my interest in diapers while still being a big boy by eagerly helping my mom change my sister's diapers. I only snuck one of her diapers and wore it once or twice. When I was 14 though, I started sneaking my younger cousins' diapers and wearing them inside my underwear. When I was 21, the power of the internet introduced me to the world of AB/DL's which changed my life forever, and I've been wearing adult diapers, or adult baby diapers like Bambino, off and on ever since... although my significant other doesn't care for it. She more or less accepts it, though I know she'd rather I get therapy and give it up.
In 2008 I found Phoneamommy. I've done many sessions, always indulging in wet and messy diapers, but never knowing truly what I was looking for. And now I know... I've always, always just wanted to be accepted. As a little kid, no one ever told me IT WAS OK when I had an accident. (And they were always 100% accidental!) No one ever told me IT WAS OK that I was fascinated by diapers, even though I was around them all the time at "Nana's" house, and sometimes other places. And in my life today, I don't have someone to tell me IT'S OK that I like diapers and that she likes diapers too.
Wow... it felt really good to get all that out.
This is my story. This is why I like diapers.
This is my story. This is why I like diapers.
Yes, I love diapers. Accept it.
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Little Stinky Britches
- Posts: 585
- Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:08 pm
- Location: In Diapers
Thank you for sharing that with us!
My first memory was around the age of 2. My mother put me back in diapers and plastic "rubber" pants because I had messed my last pair of training pants.
I have vivid memories of that day:
of what if felt like to poop my training pants,
how my mom reacted,
and when she diapered me for it after cleaning my poopy bottom.
My memories of this incident are enhanced by my mother's memories of that day as well. A few years ago, I asked my mother about this and to my shock and suprise she afirmed all of my memories of that day I pooped my training pants, and she put me back in diapers.
After that day, my mother gave up trying to potty train me and she kept me in diapers until I was 5 years old.
My first memory was around the age of 2. My mother put me back in diapers and plastic "rubber" pants because I had messed my last pair of training pants.
I have vivid memories of that day:
of what if felt like to poop my training pants,
how my mom reacted,
and when she diapered me for it after cleaning my poopy bottom.
My memories of this incident are enhanced by my mother's memories of that day as well. A few years ago, I asked my mother about this and to my shock and suprise she afirmed all of my memories of that day I pooped my training pants, and she put me back in diapers.
After that day, my mother gave up trying to potty train me and she kept me in diapers until I was 5 years old.
Phew! Somebody needs a changing.
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DommyMommyScarlet
- Mommy
- Posts: 1247
- Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2006 4:10 pm
- Contact:
