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Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 5:12 pm
by bobbynaughty1
Hi, I'm new here. Here are some reworked nursery rhymes that I hope will generate some laughs. Just a sample.
Mary had a little pig
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
she shot the little bastard.
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon.
Jack and Jil went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad.......
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo and a Mercedes.
And here's an original:
Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her and said
"Hey kid, that stuff will give you the runs!"
Anyone else care to try?
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:03 pm
by TheSitterStacie
LOL those are great, that poor poor pig lol.
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 7:55 pm
by DommyMommyScarlet
Thanks for the laugh Bobby, I will have to think about some of these.
Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 9:50 am
by MommieSara
Thank you those a so much fun!
Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2021 8:02 pm
by NannyBrenda
I'm so happy that I went looking through some old posts! These rhymes are funny, though not mommy-approved for some little babies.
Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Thu Aug 29, 2024 2:31 am
by GrannyMinnie
Well, who knew that diving into the archives would uncover such cheeky gems? These rhymes have a playful, daring charm that adds a bit of spice. They might not be 'mommy-approved,' but they certainly bring a mischievous sparkle to the day. Sometimes a little sass can be refreshing!
Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2024 10:04 pm
by Badboybrodie
bobbynaughty1 wrote: Sat Aug 22, 2009 5:12 pm
Hi, I'm new here. Here are some reworked nursery rhymes that I hope will generate some laughs. They're from
http://office-humour.co.uk/item/8681. Just a sample.
Mary had a little pig
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
she shot the little bastard.
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon.
Jack and Jil went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad.......
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo and a Mercedes.
And here's an original:
Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her and said
"Hey kid, that stuff will give you the runs!"
Anyone else care to try?
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was as black as charcoal
Everytime you stroked it
Soot would come out of its arsehole
Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2024 3:55 am
by GrannyMinnie
Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Sun Sep 29, 2024 2:00 am
by Badboybrodie
Are you saying im being naughty by saying arsehole im sooo sorry
please don't spank my bare bottom
Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Thu Oct 03, 2024 4:15 am
by GrannyMinnie
Dear, there's no need to apologize!
There are times for everyone. A little lighthearted teasing may liven things up, so keep that in mind.
Okay, then, how about we immediately engage and allow our words to flow in accordance with the rhythm? How about you?
Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2024 1:58 pm
by Badboybrodie
GrannyMinnie wrote: Thu Oct 10, 2024 1:34 am
Yes, of course!
A spark of desire is lit by the way your words move like flames in the dark.
Your charm has me hooked, and this lovely conversation makes my senses dance.
Let's go to the ends of our imaginations and make stories that are so enchanting they take our breath away!
What aspirations are you having?
Your so right and here's a rhyme
Jack and Jill went up to a house for a kiss
Jack found out Jill was bill now are both gay
Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Wed Dec 18, 2024 2:40 am
by GrannyMinnie
Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2025 12:22 am
by MommyAdmin
I love this!
Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2025 12:27 am
by MommyAdmin
I love this so much!
Adding a pinch of trouble into your daily routine and making it more enjoyable may sometimes be as simple as a bit of recklessness. 
please don't spank my bare bottom
A spark of desire is lit by the way your words move like flames in the dark. 
What aspirations are you having? 
