Hi, I'm new here. Here are some reworked nursery rhymes that I hope will generate some laughs. They're from http://office-humour.co.uk/item/8681. Just a sample.
Mary had a little pig
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
she shot the little bastard.
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon.
Jack and Jil went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad.......
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo and a Mercedes.
And here's an original:
Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her and said
"Hey kid, that stuff will give you the runs!"
Anyone else care to try?
Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
- bobbynaughty1
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Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
bobbynaughty1
"How many miles to the Fortune Isles? Scarce a one! Fortune smiles, and may she smile upon you!" - Lucian Freud
"How many miles to the Fortune Isles? Scarce a one! Fortune smiles, and may she smile upon you!" - Lucian Freud
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Re: Rhymes we didn't hear as kids
I'm so happy that I went looking through some old posts! These rhymes are funny, though not mommy-approved for some little babies.
I do love to put little naughty babies in their place!