Phone A Mommy Blog

October 18, 2015

Halloween

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I think the best part is getting to dress like a slutty bitch in front of my sons and all their friends. My favorite costume is my sexy vampire dress—it has a short, red cape, black fishnet stockings, tall leather boots, fangs, and a little black dress that shows off my tits. The best part of the dress is that it barely covers my ass. If I shift right or lean over, whoever is behind me can get a nice view of my pussy. This year, my sissy son is having a Halloween party for all of his high school friends. I can’t wait to show off my cunt to all his friends. I hope by the end of the night I’m on my knees surrounded by young cocks and sucking off my sons and all their friends. At the party last year, I was taken from behind over the kitchen counter. The kid was wearing a mask, so I didn’t know who it was, but I still took his massive cock into my virgin ass hole. I looked over at one point and saw three of my sons’ friends jerking off in the hallway to Mommy being fucked in the ass by a stranger. I squirted all over the stranger’s balls. You can see why I love this holiday […]
October 22, 2008

10 Things That You Shouldn’t Give At Halloween

I read this on the web today and it’s true. I remember when I used to go trick or treating and there were some things you just didn’t want to get from anyone. Behold the list of stuff that stinks to get in your Trick or Treat bag. Toothbrushes Dentists and orthodontists should not be allowed to celebrate Halloween if they’re going to get all tooth doctory on us. Do not bring your work home with you, folks! We all have a personal responsibility to brush, and maybe some of us will forget, but your complimentary bristles on a stick (instead of a Snickers) will not help us remember. It will make us despise you and your trade. Raisins Little boxes of stuck-together shriveled globs are not what little kids schlep around the neighborhood for all night. When they say trick-or-treat, they want candy that will rot their teeth, not wrinkled grapes. (Using an empty box as a kazoo-like instrument, though, is kinda fun.) Candy Corn The most polarizing candy of all. The fruitcake of Halloween; it just never goes away. If you love them, fine. But don’t subject the rest of us haters to the sickeningly sweet triangle that tastes like neither candy nor corn. Smarties and Necco Wafers These chalky candies are supposedly “fruit-flavored,” but no fruit I know tastes like dust — […]
October 22, 2008

10 Things That You Shouldn’t Give At Halloween

I read this on the web today and it’s true. I remember when I used to go trick or treating and there were some things you just didn’t want to get from anyone. Behold the list of stuff that stinks to get in your Trick or Treat bag. Toothbrushes Dentists and orthodontists should not be allowed to celebrate Halloween if they’re going to get all tooth doctory on us. Do not bring your work home with you, folks! We all have a personal responsibility to brush, and maybe some of us will forget, but your complimentary bristles on a stick (instead of a Snickers) will not help us remember. It will make us despise you and your trade. Raisins Little boxes of stuck-together shriveled globs are not what little kids schlep around the neighborhood for all night. When they say trick-or-treat, they want candy that will rot their teeth, not wrinkled grapes. (Using an empty box as a kazoo-like instrument, though, is kinda fun.) Candy Corn The most polarizing candy of all. The fruitcake of Halloween; it just never goes away. If you love them, fine. But don’t subject the rest of us haters to the sickeningly sweet triangle that tastes like neither candy nor corn. Smarties and Necco Wafers These chalky candies are supposedly “fruit-flavored,” but no fruit I know tastes like dust — […]
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