Phone A Mommy Blog

May 7, 2009

Happy Mother’s Day to All!

Just want to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to all the wonderful Mommies here and also let you know how special I truly think each of you are! And to all my abies thank you for being so good to Mommy Lauren. *smile* Luv, laughter, harmony & bliss always, Lauren
December 19, 2008

I think Santa Claus is a woman

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe hes a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men dont even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Its as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they – with amazing calm – call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me its an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th-hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, Im convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh, amid […]