December 19, 2008

I think Santa Claus is a woman

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe hes a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men dont even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Its as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they – with amazing calm – call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me its an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th-hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, Im convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh, amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzens rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa did have reindeer, hed still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost in the snow and clouds, and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle. Other reasons why Santa cant possibly be a man: – Men cant pack a bag. – Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. – Men would feel their masculinity is threatened, having to be seen with all those elves. – Men dont answer their mail. – Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a “bowlful of jelly.” – Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men. Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. Josie 1 888 430 2010
December 19, 2008

I think Santa Claus is a woman

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe hes a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men dont even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Its as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they – with amazing calm – call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me its an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th-hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, Im convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh, amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzens rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa did have reindeer, hed still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost in the snow and clouds, and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle. Other reasons why Santa cant possibly be a man: – Men cant pack a bag. – Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. – Men would feel their masculinity is threatened, having to be seen with all those elves. – Men dont answer their mail. – Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a “bowlful of jelly.” – Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men. Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. Josie 1 888 430 2010
October 21, 2008

Scary Movies

I love all the scarly movies some of the cable channels run during October. Especially the classics. Have any of you seen Nosferatu? Or read read up on the making of it? It is very interesting. As alot of you know I am a HUGE fan of zombie movies too, old and new and even really bad,lol. The bad ones are some of the best. It’s so much fun to curl up with baby under a nice big blanket, with a bucket of popcorn and turn out all the lights for scary movie night. Don’t forget to join us for our Halloween chat party all day on October 31st. We will be running a special for all who join us. Mommy Josie
October 14, 2008

What We Believed as Children

Some of us were told things by parents, grandparents or siblings to either scare us, or get us to stop doing something. Here are a few things some parents, siblings and friends told their sons, daughters and friends. I found most of these quite funny. 1. My dad was magic! When we would drive on the freeway in the rain, if he concentrated really hard he could stop the rain, but then one of us kids would mess up his concentration and it would begin again. I only realized many years later that we were driving under overpasses! 2. This belief is now something of a family tradition. My mother, who was never the greatest of chefs, told me (and all my siblings) when i was small that if i didn’t eat all my supper, “the children who eat poo” would come & get me. The children who eat poo are a bunch of naughty children who also wouldent eat thier supper & now live on the streets with nothing to eat but poo! They were like a gang of poo eating street punks. as my mother was a self employed courier sometimes when i was in the car with her she would point to dumpsters & say thats where the children who eat poo live. needless to say, washing the dishes in our house was never a big chore…we practically licked them clean. 3. I used to believe that my older cousin always carried these green pink & white candies in her purse & i used to sneek in there & eat a couple of them come to find out years later that they were birth control pills. 4. I used to believe that the ridges on the roof of my mouth spelled out “MADE IN JAPAN” just like the words on the bottom of my doll’s foot. 5. I used to believe that one foot was better than the other. The sheets on my bed were always messed up in the morning because my feet had been fighting during the night trying to prove that one was better than the other. 6. My sister told me that, unless I did a song and a dance after I had a poo the Toilet Monster would come and get me… the song went “Ugga Bugga Ugga Bugga Ugga Bugga Ug, Toilet Monster please don’t come” bitch. 7. When I was in Primary school, our teacher used to explain some things by starting a sentence with “When I was a little boy…” Damn you Mrs Hudson, I thought that when I grew up I’d turn into a woman!!!!!! 8. When I was a nipper my older sister, by seven years, used to tell me that sometimes the Tooth Fairy got drunk and took an eye by mistake. Gave me nightmares for months. 9. I once told my mother when I was 4 years old that I was going to marry my 4 year old ‘boyfriend’, Mikey and that our children would […]
October 8, 2008

Join us

How many of you babies have been to our free chatroom? I have been hanging out there more and more. It is so much fun, I have met lots of others AB’s and DL’s. And of course there is never a shortage of mommies for everyone. So for anyone who hasn’t, come on in and check it out and for those of you who haven’t been to visit us in awhile…What are you waiting for!? Betsy 1 888 430 2010
July 22, 2008

Not JUST a helper

Someone came into the chatroom looking for a girl to be daddys sweet baby. We that is a role that I love to play. I love being cared for. And since I have a mommys in RL already it would be so nice to play with daddy. But this daddy was suprised. He had read my profile and thought that I only like being the mommys helper that I talk about on there. I just wanted to clear something up for those of you who do not alreadt know. On my bio I wrote about ONE of my favorite things to do. We cannot possibly fit all the things we like or have experience with on one bio. I love all kinds of role plays and I especially love variety. I am a switch so I like playing both mommy and baby roles. Sometimes as an AB I like to be a little bit older but on occasion it is fun to be a very small baby. I also like to play mommy, babysitter, sister, cousin, neighbor…there are so many different types of fantasies to imagine. So if you see a lady you like but she doesn’t mention your fantasy in her bio, that doesn’t mean she would not enjoy, try giving her a call and running it by her. You might be pleasantly suprised. Janey